Max’s Blog: Summer loving, Summer living and Those Endless Summer Dog Days

In my last blog, I wrote about a seriously bad decision I took. It was after a night out with Sid the sausage dog. Luckily, Dr Saliba, my mum, erased Blossom from my delicate skin, and Bessie was none the wiser. I still don’t know who Blossom was that night.. eek! So, winter is here, and after a summer of partying, I am certainly in need of a little rejuvenation. I mean, there’s only so many good times someone as cute as me can take without it taking its toll!

The Ravages Of Last Summer

Ah… last summer…endless days spent cruising Grand parade in Brighton, top down on the car, eyeing potential suitors – I mean, who wouldn’t want to be with me – it’d be an honour for every pooch in Brighton, Sydney, THE WORLD! Those endless summer days, the wind in my fur, walks along the beach, the sun, sand, and watching other lesser dogs run into the sea chasing sticks that their humans had thrown. I’ve never really seen the point of that – I mean, I’m canine royalty… now, If it had been chicken, or cake, or lasagne thrown – now that would have been different – I’d have been there like a shot! I may be the cutest thing alive, but I’m not too proud to go chasing chicken – anything else though.. nah!

The Great Blossom Tattoo Incident Recapped

Back to those summer days there was one very memorable day. It involved Sid the Sausage dog again – and yep, I was only grounded after the great Blossom tattoo incident, for a short time. Sid has a tough exterior, but deep down, he’s the bestest of friends – but he does tend to lead me astray though. We were on Sid’s speedboat in botany bay. Cruising around, sunning our paws, the wind whistling through our fur as we sped around the bay. It was an awesome day. We moored up and Sid then bet me that I couldn’t get in the ocean. Wow, I’m royalty and that would mean getting my fur wet. Besides, I won’t even go out for a wee at home if it’s raining outside. Me and H2O just do not go together. I do of course love drinking water, but being in it… nah!

How was I to get out of it. I couldn’t, I had to shut my eyes, cover my nose with my dinky little paws and hey presto.. splash! (not a big splash of course, as I’m pretty dinky). There, I did it. Now, I couldn’t let Sid see that I was just too precious for swimming. I paddled around for a bit, then got back in the boat, looking like a drowned rat. I was not looking my finest to say the least. All that salty water was playing havoc with me.

The Problem With Summer Partying

After, we got back to shore, we fired up the barbie and scoffed lots of yummy chicken until we were both laying on our backs, belly the size of a basketball and feeling very content with ourselves. After a summer of partying with Sid, I noticed that I was not looking my majestic self. I was not looking like the royalty that I am. My skin was dry, my fur a bit limp, I didn’t have that cute glow that my mum loves and adores. By the way, talking of mum, she once gave me some great advice – she told me, no matter the situation, or the trouble you’re in, just stay classy – Sid makes me challenge this advice each and every time!

Reversing The Ravages Of Summer

So, realising that I was in need of a bit of rejuvenation, I decided to visit mum’s clinic. I mean, as Chief Happiness Officer there I do need to make an appearance every so often – what a great job I have! Taking one look at me, my adoring team mates at the clinic told me that my summer fun had taken its toll on me big time!

Emily took matters into her own hands and laid me down on one of those wonderful beds in one of the consulting rooms. She started with a bit of light therapy – how good was this. If you’ve never had an Omnilux, you have to have one! It’s not only brilliant for refreshing my pink bits, but I swear, it has an hypnotic effect. I remember laying there one minute, then the next, I could hear “another dog” snoring – but it can’t have been me as I’m sure I don’t snore although mum says I do all the time.

How could I be asleep but conscious of sound around me at the same time?? I had a lovely dream too…. Imagine wooing Bessie, champagne and flowers, succumbing to my natural charms… ahhhh.. Next, I had a furcial (like a facial, but specifically for cute fluffy white fur balls). I was pampered big time (as I should be of course – I mean, why wouldn’t my adoring humans not want to pamper me??

Bringing Summer To An End

If like me, you’ve had a long hot summer, partying a little too hard, and in need of a little rejuvenation to get your zen back, you need to speak to my adoring team at Le Sands Clinic. Next week, I’m having a laser rejuvenation session to get my skin in tip top condition and ready to do it all again in a couple of months.

Have a great winter,

Your Adorable Max

Max Saliba
Chief Happiness Officer Max

Max’s Blog. Sid, Blossom and Bessie. My Tattoo Regret

Sheepish MaxOne night, I went out with the boys including Sid the Sausage dog. Now he’s a bad boy! My mum, even told me to stay away from him as he is a bad influence on me. Well, back to the night out with the boys, it was ONE of those nights. I’m sure that Sid spiked my chicken! Well, the effect of spiked chicken on a cute little white fluff ball like me can be enormous. That night, it didn’t fail to live up to expectations and we ended up, as boys do, at the local tattoo parlour. The night was only going to go one way from here, and that’s badly.

The repercussions

In the morning, my mum, Dr Saliba was not happy. I was grounded big time. I mean when you’re only 10 centimetres from the ground under normal circumstances, and all of a sudden, I am totally grounded, well, that’s a massive problem for me. How was I to guard my nan’s house? Ah, I forgot that my time as Chief Security Officer also was not that successful (long story) (read my bio),  but you get the gist of things. You just can’t keep a lovable superstar like me down for THAT long!.

The Regret

Back to the story of my big night out and that tattoo. I am also regretting that night because I don’t know who “Blossom” is and Blossom’s name was now adorned on my cute pink belly. This was also very bad too as I have my eye not on Blossom, but rather on a socially upward mobile little poodle, “Bessie!” . Ah…. Bessie! She’s a pooch’s dream. Now she’s a classy lady. I’ve heard some say that Bessie is so classy, she has to bathe in goats milk every day, has her nails polished by the house cat, bomber, and only eats prime beef, with a French dressing on. Makes my chicken desires somewhat downmarket! Back to the story! How could I let her see me with Blossom emblazoned on me?

Overcoming Tattoo Regret

If, like me, you have tattoo regret and want to remove “Blossom” before Bessie finds out, you need to see my mum. Her Le Sands Clinic, (btw, have I mentioned my aversion to medical establishments and vets especially, as they stick things where I don’t want things to be stuck!). Well, it has state of the art tattoo removal technologies that can help me remove Blossom in double quick time. Being Chief Happiness Officer, I do get a staff discount, but even mere humans can take advantage of Dr Saliba’s brilliant technology and at very special prices, and remove that ink that you are now regretful over. And before Bessie finds out!

Max’s Blog – Skin Care for Chief Happiness Officers

My role involves making people happy. I make people happy in a number of ways. I love making people happy but in doing so, I must really look after myself. Indeed, I need to be in my prime happiness mode for my adoring peoples. So how do I do that? My skin is an important part of me feeling and looking my best. It’s not all about white fluff, and cuteness you know! White fluff ball skin care is highly important to me. Underneath that ball of fluff, I have very delicate and pink skin, which must be looked after.

Max’s Diet

My diet is the first place to start. I survive on a regime of yummy, but generally nutritious food. Chicken is extremely important to me! One day, I will explain my theory of chicken in the bank, but that’s not relevant here. Chicken, along with plenty of water keeps me in tip top condition. In fact, my personal servant, my mum Dr Saliba, reminds me constantly to drink more water. “Max, go and drink more water” she tells me. She knows what’s best for me and my skin and I dutifully trot along and lap up that lovely H2O.

My nan and pop think it’s hilarious that I drink on demand. Little do they know, I am more than happy to, as it keeps my skin clear, and moisturised! I would prefer to drink when I’m told, rather than have to take care of my pinkness after it gets all dry and itchy. I do love a good scratch though – there is nothing like a good scratch and clean – although, that may be a little embarrassing for mere humans to have to do that every day, but for little white fluff balls, it is heaven! So, my advice for you humans, is don’t get caught short needing to roll on the floor scratching your ears or face, and never need to have to clean yourself whilst lying on the ground in the middle of the street. Great for Max, not great or you!

Skin Care and Vices

I do have my vices though, like all humans! I love going for walkies in the sun. That does cause a problem though with my fair coat and pink skin! I do minimise this though by getting way too tired when walking in the sun, and have to be picked up and carried home after a short distance, that generally keeps me in the shade of my mum, and the nasty sun, doesn’t get to me! Now, I do realise that is not an option for mere humans. Max’s advice is, stay out of the sun unless you can be picked up after a short while when you’re tired and put in a little bag, out of the harmful UV! Not really practical for humans though.

My other vice is cake… mmmm…. Mmmmmm….. cake… CAKE!! I have been told so often that it isn’t good for me, I mean, since when have you seen the Chief Happiness Officer break out in doggy pimples after eating cake. I am told though, that some foods, if you have too much of it, can cause pimples in humans, but, as a furball, will not worry about that too much as cake is just so amazing, besides, I always have Dr Saliba to tell me when I’ve had enough. Unless you have Dr Saliba with you all the time, I would advise, not to eat too much cake as it could play havoc with your skin too!

Final Thoughts

My final thoughts for the day are this. If you don’t have my mum, Dr Saliba with you all day, and every day, or my nan and pop – who are really good at keeping me in shape, in order to feel your best, your skin needs to be in tip top condition. Healthy white fluff and pink skin is so important to making me happy, and then in turn, I can do my job as chief happiness officer. My advice is this, If you’d like your skin to be as good as mine (well I know it probably can’t be as cute as mine), then you too can have my mum, Dr Saliba on your side, and helping you feel as great as I do, and you won’t need to lay on the floor scratching or cleaning yourself in Coles!